What Ever Happened to Matthew Broderick?

15 years ago, he was dancing in the middle of New York, singing “Shake It Up, Baby.” These days, he’s fighting over Christmas lights with Danny Devito. What the hell happened to you? If there’s been any time to save Ferris and his career, it’s now.

In economics class, Derek wasted a lot of time learned about the economics of Christmas by watching the ridiculous film Deck the Halls. Danny Devito, playing a megalomaniac car salesman, competes with a sickeningly sappy Broderick to put up lots of Christmas lights, the ultimate goal being to be seen from space.

Most of the move ambles along without a coherent plot. The jokes– unfunny. The characters–vapid. The actors–pathetic.

So, what happened to Broderick? I used to think he was such a cool guy as Ferris Beuller. And now he plays the sort of guy who might don cheesy Christmas sweaters and give speeches about “the true meaning of Christmas.”

Derek sat there and considered this as he watched the movie, but now Christmas Break had begun, so he needn’t worry about economics at all. Derek decided to go for a walk instead.

But then a piano fell from the sky and killed Derek.

GAME OVER!

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About derekberry

Derek Berry co-hosts and organizes Charleston youth-centered poetry movement The UnSpoken Word which features a variety of upcoming and established slam poets in various Charleston venues. The UnSpoken Word attempts to give voice to a variety of experiences and implement art to enact changes in coalition local activist movements, most notably the queer community. He also performs in venues and competes in slams across the US. He is a spoken word poet, a photographer's assistant, and a Political Science student at the College of Charleston. He worked as a journalist and columnist for Verge magazine for two years based out of Augusta, GA. He was the first winner of the 827's Holy City Slam. Derek recently published his first chapbook Skinny Dipping with Strangers and released his first spoken word album Perfect Nights, produced by Smohn Jith Studios. The publication of his novel Heathens and Liars of Lickskillet County is also forthcoming through PRA Publishing. Derek Berry has absolutely no clue what he might do with his life, but he's going to make a damn difference.

Posted on December 21, 2011, in Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You’ll understand when you reach that age when you have to sacrifice your better judgement for a better lifestyle…well, maybe you won’t have to, but lots of people do. ;)

  1. Pingback: Deleting Facebook « Word Salad

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