On Soul Mates

Having a soul mate is a strange notion, because it implies that somewhere in this world, someone is born with the inert necessity to be with you.

You, and no one else. Perhaps your signature is scribbled on their DNA or maybe at some point, when you meet, a chemical is released in your brain telling you that you’re meant to be.

But as comforting as it might be to think that you have an assured romantic partner who will meet you at some point in your life, it’s a tad ridiculous. More than a tad really, and not merely ridiculous, but also depressing.

It’s the sort of soft-bread romance dream concocted through worship of Disney mantra and films based on books by Nicholas Sparks.

There are almost 7 billion people alive in the world, and if you’re meant to be with just one of them… you’re up a creek without a lover. You’re just a dejected jigsaw puzzle piece in a sprawling ocean of lego pieces. You’re the bee trying to collect nectar from wax flowers. For awhile, the notion allows us peace of mind:  someone is out there for us, only waiting. But when the search begins, we lose heart.

The abstraction of soul mates is loose and undefined: those who do believe don’t necessarily agree. Did God carve out pieces of the soul to lock together or maybe Cupid got too excited with his arrows? So, suppose as far as love goes, there is a greater plan to push together two people who fit absolutely. Even so, it must be a pretty awful system and mighty inefficient. Cupid might have tried at one point, but the guy got very lazy.

The younger a person is, the more inclined he or she might be to snatching up hope for the easy way out of anything. If my biology book doesn’t lie, which I expect in fact it does, then sexual reproduction is hard enough as is. It’s difficult enough to find a mate viable to procreate and have children anyways, so to find just one person with whom to procreate and populate the earth… how impossible could that become?

If my soul mate could be anyone, I meet soul mates every day. Every single girl I meet is my soul mate, so I have to go falling in and out of love. Because according to the rules of soul mates, it could be anyone. And what if you do meet your soul mate, but then brush her off because she’s wearing a band t-shirt from that band you hate. Maybe when you get married, you’ll grow to love that band! Maybe you can work through the fact that your supposed soul mate works as an erotic dancer, because… in the name of love, right?

What if I’m meant to fall in love with an Amazonian tribe member whom I may never meet. Or worse, a child… that’s a good excuse for sexual predators. If soul mates are real, we cannot pick them. It would be like forcing a horse to drink without being able to lead him to water. The horse gets rather thirsty.

The crux becomes, if I can’t prove it wrong, I’m not going to completely dismiss it. What if there were soul mates, as dreadful as that reality seems? I certainly don’t believe in a soul mate, but I sure as hell wouldn’t let her get away. And even if I don’t believe something is not true, that’s no excuse to do it halfway. That’s not really grounds to give up.

Just because I’m not a cricket fan doesn’t mean I’d pass up the chance to be great at cricket if life presented me with such an opportunity. But the truth is, you’re rarely delivered opportunity on a silver platter, side of butter- lightly braised, if you please. People make opportunities, just as people make their own sparks. I could surely spend my entire life stalking the streets and catching the eyes of random women, but I doubt that’d make anyone fall in love with me.

Two people can have a great relationship, but that has nothing to do with predisposed biology. It’s not their chemical make-up causing them to mesh so well, but instead because they really work at it. “As far as I can tell, dedication is the better part of foreplay.”-Shane Kocyzan.

Soul mates, it’s an interesting notion, a potato-and-bread ideal that we can dust off whenever we’re feeling too lonely, but the reality of it in practice would be horrifying. People might see the need to fly across the globe in search of that other “puzzle piece,” when they may only need glance across the hall. (In the scenario, this man or woman would live in an apartment. Certainly not a house with family members, unless of course, you’re into that and your state deems that legal.)

What are your thoughts on soul mates?

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Posted on August 24, 2011, in Controversy, Ryan Gosling, writer, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I have another take on this–what if we all come from essentially the same soul? We’re all mere fragments of one whole. Then we are all soul mate, aren’t we? Finding our soul mate doesn’t seem so impossible–we just have to see ourselves in that other person and accept.

    Just a thought…

  2. In reality, finding your soul mate would be one out of whatever the population of the earth is and would be a ridiculous goal. In fiction, it makes for a great story.

    Your blogs seem awfully sophisticated for a teenager. Are you sure you’re not really 45?

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