5 Better IPhone Features
Yahoo! recently released an article (here:http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/5-things-want-see-iphone-5-182548063.html ) explaining what their columnist might want to have in the new IPhone. Basically, a lot of lame stuff. I have never owned an IPhone, but if I were to purchase one, I’d like the super expensive phone to do the following.
1.) Portable Movie Projector
How cool would that be? Bored and ready to watch a movie, so just project a screen on the wall of on the bus seat in front of you. And enjoy. And also, it could make skype convos that much more awkward to do in public! This way, you could have a drive-in theater anywhere.
So, wait… do Apple products play music? They should definitely do that, because it’d be awesome. Of course they don’t yet, but soon……
3.) Time Machine
Do I really have to explain this? Apple claims to make revolutionary products, but not one single device by them gives people the ability to travel back and forth in time. Maybe Steve Jobs thinks that if he releases the time machine to the public, they will go back in time to invent the IPod, so then Steve Job must also have an IPhone to kill that person at birth, except then a paradox will occur. NO…. NO……. BLACK HOLE…….. WE’RE BREAKING THE LAWS OF SPACE-TIME THEORY!!!!!!!! TIME MACHINES IN IPHONES…. BAD IDEA!
4.) Copy and Paste
Seriously, that seems pretty simple, right?
5.) An UNbreakable screen!
While I have never owned an IPhone and thus never had this problem, I see this incredibly often. Stupid teenagers break their IPhone screens all the time. Why not make phones that have UNBREAKABLE screens. Like, make them of cement. No, of STEEL! That would definitely be a smart upgrade.
Posted on September 27, 2011, in Blogging, Internet, Old People, Random, Writing and tagged advice, Apple, column, Derek Berry, features, humor, IPhone, Iphone 5, poetr, poetry, Steve Jobs, technology, time machine, word salad, writer, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.