5 Better IPhone Features

Yahoo! recently released an article (here:http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/5-things-want-see-iphone-5-182548063.html ) explaining what their columnist might want to have in the new IPhone. Basically, a lot of lame stuff. I have never owned an IPhone, but if I were to purchase one, I’d like the super expensive phone to do the following.

1.) Portable Movie Projector

How cool would that be? Bored and ready to watch a movie, so just project a screen on the wall of on the bus seat in front of you. And enjoy. And also, it could make skype convos that much more awkward to do in public! This way, you could have a drive-in theater anywhere.

2.) Music

So, wait… do Apple products play music? They should definitely do that, because it’d be awesome. Of course they don’t yet, but soon……

3.) Time Machine

Do I really have to explain this? Apple claims to make revolutionary products, but not one single device by them gives people the ability to travel back and forth in time. Maybe Steve Jobs thinks that if he releases the time machine to the public, they will go back in time to invent the IPod, so then Steve Job must also have an IPhone to kill that person at birth, except then a paradox will occur. NO…. NO……. BLACK HOLE…….. WE’RE BREAKING THE LAWS OF SPACE-TIME THEORY!!!!!!!! TIME MACHINES IN IPHONES…. BAD IDEA!

4.) Copy and Paste

Seriously, that seems pretty simple, right?

5.) An UNbreakable screen!

While I have never owned an IPhone and thus never had this problem, I see this incredibly often. Stupid teenagers break their IPhone screens all the time. Why not make phones that have UNBREAKABLE screens. Like, make them of cement. No, of STEEL! That would definitely be a smart upgrade.

About derekberry

Derek Berry is a novelist, poet, and student located in Charleston, SC.

Posted on September 27, 2011, in Blogging, Internet, Old People, Random, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. What, no food replicator? I’ll wait for the next generation iPhone to come out…

  2. You can already Copy and Paste!

  3. I own an iPhone and it does wonderful things like audio recording of interviews, reading ebooks and other useful writerly things, but the enhancement I would like the most would be for it to incorporate a functioning sonic screwdriver. I downloaded and app that lets you make the sound of a sonic screwdriver, but I bet if Apple really worked at it they could make my iPhone into a working sonic screwdriver that would get me out of the sorts of scrapes that The Doctor finds himself in.

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