EXACTLY What You’re Looking For

A post from Lorna’s Voice (found here: http://lornasvoice.wordpress.com/2011/10/01/imagine-the-disappointment/) inspired me to create the PERFECT blog post. My blog has been found through a variety of search methods, pictures of otherwise. So in this single blog, I intend to culminate everyone’s deepest desires. Blog readers, this is what you’ve been looking for, so I’m giving it to you.

First off, my personal favorite search is Ryan Gosling, which tends to attract about 300 viewers a week on average. You do one post on Ryan Gosling and suddenly… people read your blog. I swear, it works. So, if you’re scouring the internet for “Ryan Gosling,” “Ryan Gosling hair,” or “Ryan Gosling abs,” this blog is for you!

People seem to love “Harry Potter” too and everything related including “pictures of Gringotts,” “Cartoon Hermione Harry Potter naked,” and “Harry Potter tattoo timeline”:

At least five people would like to see a “swamp ghost alligator”:

Many people looked up variants of “Wilfred the dog smoking pot”

Too many people look for pictures of a “Golgi apparatus”

I fully support looking for a “glorious mustache”

About 26 people just want to see “v-neck,” and then maybe 56 people would like to see a “deep v-neck” or “super deep v-neck.” Are you one of those people? You’re welcome.

Sorry, I can’t show you pictures of “Phoenix Pride nude” here, whoever she is.

And like seriously, over 50 people have searched “the F word”

What draws eyes most to my blog???

*cue drum roll*

people looking for pictures of janitors. Seriously. I’m that boring, apparently. Mention just once that you work as a janitor and suddenly… you’re held to high regard. Hm…

What??!?!? You were just googling Derek Berry? Well, refer to all other blog posts, dear readers. Read on.

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About Derek Berry

Derek Berry is a novelist and spoken word poet. Derek is the author of Heathens and Liars of Lickskillet County (PRA Publishing, 2016). He co-founded and organizes The Unspoken Word, a literary non-profit based out of Charleston, SC, which provides an intendent home for the poetic arts through regular readings, workshops, and community fundraisers. He is on the Executive Board of the Charleston Poetry Festival, the inaugural production of which will be Fall 2017. His work has appeared in The Southern Tablet, Cattywampus, Charleston Currents, Illuminations, RiverSedge, and other journals.He has performed in venues across the United States and Germany. He has worked as a photographer’s assistant, busboy, and bookseller. He currently works at a curation facility for Cold War History.

Posted on October 27, 2011, in Blogging, books, Controversy, Internet, Ryan Gosling, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. The most popular search term for my blog is Kate Middleton’s armpit. Apparently, there are tons of people obsessed with her armpits. Strange, but true. Maybe you should give it a shot.

    http://youngamericanwisdom.com/2011/04/29/the-royals/

    • Well… I personally have a thing for Kate Middleton and must say she has glorious armpits. The armpits of a seraphim. In fact, pictures of her clean, beautiful pits plaster my walls. It’s not creepy, I swear. It’s love.

  2. Well done, Derek. You know you’re only encouraging more of the same, don’t you? 😉

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