Of “Legal” Age: It’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!
As I leave the realm of childhood behind, I will become an extremely mature young man who makes good decisions. Oh, who am I kidding? I spent last night watching Harry Potter and eating cookie dough. Whatever delusions I have of maturity were pretty much negated then. But honestly, I don’t care. Because at least under the law, I’m legal.
I can maybe get into clubs now, provided the clubs don’t serve alcohol, so basically, I can’t get into any clubs.
And if you’re bordering on the notion of subscribing, you should. You know, cause it’s the birthday! And also because I messed with the Header image so random pictures pop up. Yay! Randomness!
That’s what this post is, all it really is. Just a small collection of thoughts before I go do birthday things. Maybe I’ll come back and edit it a bit. Does that mean you should read it twice? Definitely. I have a sick obsession with tracking blog stats.
What does it mean for me to be eighteen? Well, let us figure that out, shall we?
1.) I can order things from infomercials.
2.) Buy cigarettes
3.) Serve Jury duty
4.) Rent a hotel room (in some states, though elsewhere you must be 21 or 25.)
5.) Go into strip joints
6.) Can’t drink, but CAN serve alcoholic drinks
7.) Can be sued
8.) Can open a bank account solitarily
9.) Can place bets
10.) Pawn things off at a pawn shop
11.) Purchase pornographic materials
12.) Buy a LOTTO TICKET!!
13.) Go to prison…
14.) Buy white out without parental consent
15.) Get a piercing without parental consent
16.) Get a tattoo without parental consent (I’m thinking a snitch on my chest?)
17.) Make a will (If I actually do get a tattoo or go to a strip club, I will need to make one of those)
18.) Change my name! (How does Humphrey McHumpbottom sound?)
19.) Participate on the Price is Right!
20.) Join the ARMY
21.) Buy lighter fluid
22.) Get married! WHAT? That can’t be right…
23.) Buy paint thinner
24.) Drink in the UK
25.) Buy a crossbow
26.) Participate in online surveys NOT targeted for those under 18
27.) Have legal sex
28.) Smoke a cigar and sheesha
29.) Feel awkward in “adult shops”
30.) Go to Dave and Buster’s without an adult
31.) Spray paint!
32.) Oh…. yeah…. and register to vote. But whatever, the important thing to remember here is that I can now legally purchase a crossbow. How cool…
Posted on November 13, 2011, in Childhood, Derek, writer, Writing and tagged 18, birthday, Derek Berry, humor, J, legal age, personal, poems, poetry, word salad, writer, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.