The One Where Derek Writes a Post about Marijuana
On this episode of Friends, Derek decides he’d like to tackle the extremely complex topic of marijuana. He, however, cannot decide how to discuss marijuana. Should he talk about the health issues associated with marijuana, about the possibility of legalization and the outcome of such legalization, or about the cult-following atmosphere that surrounds this little weed. That’s all it is, after all. A plant, yet it causes so much controversy in the news. Rather than just read a lot of articles and then form a half-guessed opinion, I’d like to look at the benefits and risks of smoking marijuana legally and illegally from several different standpoints.
1.) High School Teacher
I admit, I smoked a couple of doobies back in the day, but hey, that was the early 70s. Everyone was doing it then. These days, kids aren’t even trying to stick it to the man. They’re only smoking this stuff because they think it’s cool. So, as a teacher, I do think that marijuana can affect a child’s education. While some may argue it does not actually affect the brain’s long-term health, I would counter-argue that by smoking marijuana, kids waste hours of time that could be instead filtered toward some other, more productive activity. Like studying.
But not just studying. If a kid smokes for the sake of creating a social setting, perhaps he could instead undertake a sport or join a band. These sorts of things create a stronger character and healthier lifestyle while also providing a social circle that does not involve smoking pot.
While I don’t directly oppose the recreational use of it and teach the health-related uses in my biology class, I do have a high consternation for those students who choose to come to school high. One cannot learn if he is so mind-addled, and therefore, he cannot come to a school for his own benefit. This is utterly ridiculous. Not only is it bad for a teen’s education, but the stoners usually disrupt the class with their antics. I don’t care about it, but I don’t want it at schools.
2.) high school stoner
I want to prelude this argument by stating that there is nothing really wrong with weed, and yes, I know the word “prelude,” man. But that’s not the point. I want to talk about legalization. Now your normal liberal American talks and blabs about how marijuana should legalized because it could help cancer patients or whatever. But if we make weed legal, we’re putting the herbs into the hands of the MAN. You see, if we make weed legal, then pot won’t be grown by the creepy guy up the road, carefully and beautifully. It will be mass-produced as a cash crop by the GOVERNMENT, man. And this wonderful plant will be filled with pesticides and such until it will some highly taxed lesser-quality crap sold with Frappes at Starbucks.
Also, if sick and old people use it, it will become totally UNCOOL.
3.) Pharmaceutical Representative
The funny thing about marijuana in the drug industry is that it could actually be a very healthy alternative to most painkillers. Think of the codeine-based medicines you know, and now here are their side-effects:
- shallow breathing, slow heartbeat;
- seizure (convulsions);
- cold, clammy skin;
- severe weakness or dizziness; or
- feeling light-headed, fainting.
Less serious side effects are more likely to occur, such as:
- nausea, vomiting, constipation, loss of appetite;
- dizziness, headache, tired feeling;
- dry mouth;
- sweating; or
- Trouble remembering things
- Altered time perception
Increased heart rate
Altered pulmonary status
Altered body temperature
Reduced muscle strength
Decreased cerebral blood flow
- Increased food consumption
- Anxiety and panic
- Altered libido
- Poor sense of time
- Worsened short-term memory
- Addictive behaviors
- Amotivational syndrome
5.) View from a suburban American
Look, anything against the law should not be done. I don’t care how much you argue about how it might be healthy or enlightening or whatever… Until they make it legal, take your hippie arguments elsewhere.
Posted on December 9, 2011, in Controversy, Random, Word Salad, Writing and tagged argument, Derek Berry, effects of weed, green, legalization, marijuana, pot, stoner, teacher, word salad, Wordpress, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.