What Ever Happened to Matthew Broderick?

15 years ago, he was dancing in the middle of New York, singing “Shake It Up, Baby.” These days, he’s fighting over Christmas lights with Danny Devito. What the hell happened to you? If there’s been any time to save Ferris and his career, it’s now.

In economics class, Derek wasted a lot of time learned about the economics of Christmas by watching the ridiculous film Deck the Halls. Danny Devito, playing a megalomaniac car salesman, competes with a sickeningly sappy Broderick to put up lots of Christmas lights, the ultimate goal being to be seen from space.

Most of the move ambles along without a coherent plot. The jokes– unfunny. The characters–vapid. The actors–pathetic.

So, what happened to Broderick? I used to think he was such a cool guy as Ferris Beuller. And now he plays the sort of guy who might don cheesy Christmas sweaters and give speeches about “the true meaning of Christmas.”

Derek sat there and considered this as he watched the movie, but now Christmas Break had begun, so he needn’t worry about economics at all. Derek decided to go for a walk instead.

But then a piano fell from the sky and killed Derek.



About Derek Berry

Derek Berry is a novelist and spoken word poet. Derek is the author of Heathens and Liars of Lickskillet County (PRA Publishing, 2016). He co-founded and organizes The Unspoken Word, a literary non-profit based out of Charleston, SC, which provides an intendent home for the poetic arts through regular readings, workshops, and community fundraisers. He is on the Executive Board of the Charleston Poetry Festival, the inaugural production of which will be Fall 2017. His work has appeared in The Southern Tablet, Cattywampus, Charleston Currents, Illuminations, RiverSedge, and other journals.He has performed in venues across the United States and Germany. He has worked as a photographer’s assistant, busboy, and bookseller. He currently works at a curation facility for Cold War History.

Posted on December 21, 2011, in Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You’ll understand when you reach that age when you have to sacrifice your better judgement for a better lifestyle…well, maybe you won’t have to, but lots of people do. 😉

  1. Pingback: Deleting Facebook « Word Salad

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