Posting blogs sometimes takes time, so instead I’ll share something else. For the record, I have been immersed in schoolwork. If you don’t remember high school, here’s a refresher: you spend a lot of time with your nose in the spine of a book.
I love Calculus so much, I spent all weekend with her. My face was so close to her pages, we were practically making out. What draws me to her, really, is that she never- no, never “makes love.” What we do implies something more passionate. We stay up all night together and when she’s finished with me, I’m usually sweating and out of breath.
We’re taking a break right now, because honestly, the arguments may splinter our relationship. It’s almost as if we’re spending TOO much time together.
To remedy this, I had some fun. I took a poem (Ode to the Stache: https://derekberry.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/poem-ode-to-the-stache/) and translated it into Italian. Read the original first. I translated it then back into English, because what’s more hilarious than mistranslated poems? This is why I can never quite appreciate Lorca. First, here is the poem in Italian:
Oh, peli glorioso, spuntano dal viso!
Con calore e uno stile rasoio non poteva cancellare,
I capelli crescono come erbacce, poli labbro robusto,
Quali sono adorati e sono soggetti di canzoni,
Si trova come compagno, un peloso, amico rossetto,
Che si può torcere, lo stile, piroetta, spirale, e piegare,
Tu sei il capitano, e il tuo primo ufficiale,
Con essa si ha un legame a cui nessun altro corpo capelli possono riguardare,
Si potrebbe preferire il Belvedere, o forse il Dali,
Potrebbe essere il vostro sport come Frank Zappa e crescere un pizzetto,
Può essere un manubrio, oppure si può lasciare caduta,
Una fine può essere un pallone da basket, l'altro un cerchio,
Si può guardare come Einstein e guardare come Ringo troppo,
Si potrebbe crescere molto lungo fino a quando è necessario 'shampoo Stache,
Può essere una matita uno, o un Fu Manchu,
Un paio di baffi è un paio di baffi, e nessuno lo farà,
Alcuni guardare piuttosto minaccioso, qualche aspetto di cute,
Alcuni ti fanno sembrare professionale, alcuni come un bruto,
Si può indossare con la barba, pizzetto, o braciole di castrato,
Sembra proprio sul cowboy, Hitler, e perfino poliziotti,
Questa è una piccola ode di una caduta di poco,
Una curva di capelli che possono assorbire tutta la minestra,
Alcuni sono piuttosto scarsi, alcuni vale la pena guardare un sacco di denaro,
Ma non dimenticate mai la potenza e la freschezza del 'Stache,
Now here is the poem in the English-translated-version of Italian.
Oh, glorious hair, sprouting from your face!
With warmth and style razor could not erase,
The hair grows like weeds, lip sturdy poles,
What are worshiped and are subject of songs,
It is found as a companion, a hairy, man lipstick
What you can twist, style, twirl, spiral, and bend,
You are the captain, and your first officer,
With it you have a bond that no other body hair may concern,
You might prefer the Belvedere, or perhaps the Dali
It could be your sports such as Frank Zappa and grow a goatee,
It can be a dumbbell, or you can let fall,
One end can be a basketball, the other a circle,
It can look like Einstein and look like Ringo too,
You could grow very long until you need the 'Stache shampoos,
It can be a pencil or a Fu Manchu,
A mustache is a mustache, and no one will do,
Some look pretty ominous, some aspect of skin,
Some make you look professional, some as a brute,
It can be worn with beards, goatees, mutton chops, or,
Looks like the Cowboys, Hitler, and even policemen,
This is a small ode to fall slightly,
A curve of hair can absorb all the soup,
Some are rather scarce, some worth looking at a lot of money,
But never forget the power and freshness of the 'Stache,
It made me chuckle quietly under my breath. Just so you dear readers know, I’m doing quite a lot with poetry including making a chapbook. Also, next weekend I’ll begin work on something quite unique: a video of one of my poems. Wait? Derek, you do those ALL the time. Wait, but a poem made into a music-video with an award-winning director from Boston? No, Derek hasn’t done THAT yet.
Not yet. But soon, one of my poems will receive the MTV treatment, and become like a music video. It’s exciting stuff, indeed. Beyond that, I’m working with the same director on a script for a short film. More on that once we’ve worked out more news.
Although I’m currently cheating on writing, having such a rampant love affair with Calculus (Honestly, she’s a frigid woman), I’m very busy with writerly things. You’ll hear from me soon.