Flashback Thursday: The Hogwarts Dorm Life

My friends and I began a vlogging team that cataloged the lives of Hogwarts students. Here are the introduction videos for all three of them, myself included. There is also a short film we did as these characters, which I intend to post soon. Enjoy.

Me:

Tim McFall:

Anna Brisbin:

What did you think? This was actually a really fun, cool idea, but did not work. Anna ended up going to NYU for theatre, so how cool is that?

Advertisements

Review: Moneyball

This movie… was horrible.

Baseball, naturally, is the most boring spectator sport, so making a movie about it… horrible decision.

I mean, in football and soccer and basketball, you have constant motion. Even in Hockey, you get to watch people beat each other with sticks.

What’s more boring than baseball? Economics.

So, let’s make a movie with baseball AND economics.

Sure, I adore Brad Pitt, but that does not constitute making a really crappy movie.

So, don’t go see this movie. Go see…. that movie with Wolverine and the Rock-em-Sock-em robots. Go see… The Lion King in 3D.

Go see… The Smurfs even.

But here’s a good math equation for Jonah Hill: Moneyball= Yawn-inducing bore-fest.

Oh, and Philip Seymour Hoffman is in it. So, that was nice.

Review: New Girl, Pilot

I’m not great at calculus, but let me do some math for you.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL + HILARIOUS= NEW GIRL

NEW GIRL COMING ON AFTER GLEE= TOTAL TV SUBMERSION

ZOOEY DESCHANEL ON TELEVISION EVERY TUESDAY= MY BUTT ON THE COUCH EVERY TUESDAY

ZOOEY DESCHANEL= LOVE OF MY LIFE

I watched the pilot episode via Hulu, and it showed a lot of promise. It should premiere on FOX this Tuesday after the Season 3 premiere of Glee. I highly suggest you watch it or otherwise the show will be pulled from Tv!

Then, I won’t get to see the love of my life once a week. And would you REALLY deprive me of that joy? Monsters…

FOX, 9:00. Tuesday. BE THERE!

Flashback Thursday!!

From now on, I’d like to make this a “thing.” I’ll post something I either wrote or made a long time ago so you can go chortle at me. Or LOL.

For this week, I’d like to introduce you to D-Kizzle and Fredrick Fredrickson! They are characters I created in the tenth grade to make youtube videos with. Keep in mind, this video I will show you is something very embarrassing. But I always knew people would dig them up one day, so why not show it to you now?

Did you ever do or write something you’re very embarrassed of from your past? Next week, I’ll make sure to post something I’ve written.

True Blood: Season 4 in Review

True Blood is one of those dirty secret shows– a secret pleasure that can be indulged in on your computer, so that your parents don’t realize your actually watching a show with… well, sex. Or even worse, vampires.

If you have not watched the finale or any of episode of Season 4, don’t read this. If you have, please share your thoughts below.

**********************************************SPOILER ALERT*************************************************************

The finale was disappointing, honestly. It may have been okay as a regular episode, but does not stand up to the insane mind-bending finales of seasons past.

When Marnie entered Lafayette’s body, I could have seen a lot of worse stuff going down. The wrap-up? Gran and Antonia team up kick Marnie’s… I mean, teach Marnie that once you’re dead, you should move on to Heaven or “the great unknown” rather than dwell on earth like a sulky little child. Although Marnie began to irritate me, Fiona Shaw did an awesome job as unhinged witch. For that matter, so did Nelsan Ellis. I mean, that guy has talent! He was THREE different characters in one season.

Although I really really hated the fairies, I’m confused about why we haven’t revisited them. It just seems so lost, beyond that single hook-up with Andy that that one fairy had. It just seems like Alan Ball realized that he may have introduced fairies too soon, so he’s hiding them under his skirt until later. For the same reason, the creepy, incestuous were-panther clan did not make a return. When someone came a’knockin’ on Jason’s door after Jessica Riding Hood left, I thought for sure Crystal was coming to drag him back to her love shack. NOPE! It was only the kindly reverend, only now with fangs.

Although I really don’t like Sookie and if she died, I’d still watch the show, I HAVE to talk about her. So, she did show some strength throughout this season and growth in her character. By rejecting both Bill and Eric, she finally made a sensible decision and really showed resolve. As in, she did less crying for help and did some more shooting Debbie Pelt in the face. Sure, it’s a gratuitous death, but no one really liked her anyhow. Speaking of deaths… Alan Ball must have realized he was running too many story lines.

I got bored of Tara after Eggs died, so I don’t even mind that she got her head blown off. I’m surprised, in fact, she hasn’t already died. Despite her being annoying, though, I wish Ball had done MORE with her. At the beginning of this season, she was a butt-kicking kick boxer, and by the end– right back to boring, helpless Tara.

Jesus died. Which is too bad, because I really liked that Lafayette had someone. And also, his brujo powers, though freaky, could be a little cool. I suspect Lafayette has inherited said powers, which will become important next season. No one can seem to just be in a happy relationship. Apparently, not even Terry or Arlene, because Rene came back in ghost form to warn Arlene about Terry’s past. Could he be referring to that Marine guy who just suddenly showed up in the finale? Yes, of course he’s talking about that guy. Also, why would Arlene listen to her serial killer ex?

Tommy is dead too, another character who showed absolutely no growth. I liked him at first, but then, like the others, he became boring. He never really changed, rather just finding new ways to mess with Sam. I am digging that Sam is happy (which naturally can’t last) and that he and Alcide have become bros.

Speaking of Alcide, he finally did the smart thing by trying to get with Sookie, and then Sookie did the selfish thing and said… Hm… no. At the end of the episode, he found a whole in a concrete car lot with severed chains nearby. Hm… Is Russel Edgington returning? If so, yipee! Seriously, that guy was awesome. He’s a gentleman AND ripped some dude’s spine out on live television. He certainly makes the show more exciting.

Eric and Bill are bros too now I guess. And they worked together to kill off Nan who actually wanted to help them fight the authority. Not smart, because she could have helped. Whoever “the authority” is, they sound pretty powerful. I guess if they need someone with a bloodlust for the “authority,” they could appeal to Edgington. They’re likely on pretty good terms after Eric silvered him and trapped him beneath a ton of concrete.

So, the big problem was that… the fourth season did not compare to season 3. It was good at moments, but otherwise, it fell flat. It did not meet expectations. Of course, it’s True Blood, so I’ll come crawling back next season for a fresh serving of gore, sex, and confusing story lines. If I were in charge of season 5, I would do the following:

1.) Hoyt and Jason battle-royale for Jessica’s love. TO THE DEATH!

2.) Pam leaves Eric for good, because Eric is annoying.

3.) Eric returns to his devious ways and tries to hook up with girls other than Sookie.

4.) Lafayette becomes a super witch and basically just chills with his ghost boyfriend.

5.) Russel Edgington kills Sookie, Bill, and maybe Holly too. That way, all the annoying characters will be gone.

6.) Jessica (Deborah Ann Wohl) will appear in more nude scenes. (Just a personal wish.)

7.) Alan Ball conveniently forgets that Charlaine Harris added the fairy element to his books. Scratch those were-panthers too. Get it? SCRATCH them? Because… they have sharp claws and will eat your face.

8.) More gore and violence (let’s be honest about why I like this show.)

Review: Crazy, Stupid, Love

Sappy love story that is poignant, grounded in reality, and sort of hilarious– well, we’ve got your date movie plans satiated with Crazy, Stupid, Love. It’s one of those feel-good love stories you can’t help but smile at while watching. The cast is fantastic, the script is realistic, and the plot overflows with awkwardness when love bites us in the arse.

Starring is Steve Carrell as Cal Weaver whose wife (Julianne Moore of The Kids Are Alright talent) tells him over dinner that she wants a divorce. Five minutes of tortured silence follows as they continue to eat and then drive home. After she tells him that she slept with her coworker, he drops out of the moving vehicle.

So begins the quirky, strange comedy about the pitfalls of love. And yes, there is plenty of love to go around. Cal is in love with his wife Emily, but so is her one-night-stand partner David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon). The Weaver’s sensitive, outspoken thirteen year old son Robbie (Jonah Bobo) is convinced that his soul mate is his awkward, but beautiful beautiful babysitter Jessica (Analeigh Tipton). Jessica, however, happens to have a crush on Mr. Cal Weaver.

If this sounds so far like a complicated romantic comedy, it doesn’t have nearly as many entanglements as you’ve seen in other love stories (Valentines Day, Love Actually). Once dumped and living alone, Cal seems pathetic. Cue enter Jacob, the suave, smooth-operating ladies man played by the stylish, confidant Ryan Gosling. And well, am I a fan of Ryan Gosling’s lady killer ways? Just read my plan to become him when I grow up: https://derekberry.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/i-want-to-grow-up-to-be-ryan-gosling-or-a-pirate/

Seeing how pathetic Cal has become, sitting at a bar, ranting about his ex wife, Jacob decides to teach this older man how to pick up women. And after much face-slapping and an upgrade from Supercuts, he manages to teach Cal the shallow art of seduction. “You’re better than the GAP,” Jacob tells Cal, shaking his head in disappointment. Next could have followed a romping buddy comedy about picking up women, but Crazy, Stupid, Love is more raw than that. It focuses on the strange things that happen to us concerning love.

Like when the thirteen year old boy you babysit shows up at your school with a pulpit to declare his love for you. Like when your kids’ seventeen year old babysitter tries to give you naked pictures of herself. Like when Kevin Bacon learns the loathing of a woman’s kid. Like when Hannah, a law student played by the quirky, fun Emma Stone discovers that her boyfriend does not plan to propose, but instead invites her to become a lawyer with him.

Well, once Jacob meets Hannah, another love story begins.

Ryan Gosling is priceless as vain Jacob, sporting Italian leather boots and suede-accented green suits. His cool, sophisticated ways of seducing movie do not at first impress Hannah, but then after a disastrous almost-proposal, she tracks down “the hot guy that hit on me at the bar.” She kisses him and delclares “we’re definitely going to bang.”

One long night of pillow talk sans “banging” later, they’ve fallen in love. It’s cliche and too quick, but hey, it’s a love story. They needed to squeeze as much love as possible out of it.

The movie is cute, but the movie is also funny. Carell perfectly captures the middle age man estranged from the dating scene: he sits at the bar sipping on cranberry vodkas. “You’re like a fourteen year old girl, ” Jacob chides him. The movie quickly moves beyond the mundane and shallow into my sentimental territory. In that way, the story ends up many romantic comedies do- happily. At very least bittersweet.

Other great performances include Bobo who played Robbie, passionate and lovelorn, and Julianne Moore as a woman in a serious midlife crisis. If you’re looking for a date movie, this one promises a lot of sentimental pull, but also (for guys) great pick up tips. Perfect for couples about to break up: the guy can check out how to either revive his relationship or pull in new ladies by the dozen.

Check out Crazy, Stupid, Love in theatres this weekend.