Category Archives: Vampires

Modern Day Horror An Impossibility?

I watched The Woman in Black for the second time last night and came under the impression that every horror movie ever made should take place in the 1800s, perhaps the early 1900s. Once the characters get technology, all the mystery is gone.

So you think there might be a poltergeist in your house? Don’t worry. There’s an app for that. The wonderful new spectral locator app on your IPhone will indicate whether or not paranormal activity is going on within your home. When you find out a ghost is haunting your attic, sell your house and move away!

How lame would that be, though, if through some technology we could trace ghosts, kill vampires, and reverse every killer zombie plague? Thanks a lot, Richard Matheson!

Would  The Ring not lose a lot of its scare value if someone received a tweet, “U will die in 7 days #Evilcurse.” Then, Samara comes climbing through your IPad as you’re trying to watch 30 Rock on Hulu.

My point is, with as many technological advances as we have today, the things that once were scary have been demystified. We’re no

longer superstitious of demons possessing people with epileptic seizures. Not every crow means death. But back in better, less complicated times, true horror existed in uncertainty. These days, we are too certain that we know everything. Not that we can ever truly know anything.

Think of Plato’s wall, and what doubt it casts on the shadow of reality being truly reality, a real world and not one of shadows. Maybe this idea itself, the sheer notion that perhaps we paragons of technology don’t know EVERYTHING, perhaps that is today’s new horror. No more ghosts, ghouls, and goblins. Only uncertainty. Only a true ignorance where once we presumed was vast, concrete knowledge. Every day, we learn that things we absolutely knew without a doubt were never in fact true.

Is this merely more reason to lament the days when we were certain about our own uncertainty, not so mixed up about it?

What we need is more ghosts and haunted houses. Call me cliche, but I love those stories. In fact, check out this Litreactor article on Haunted Houses.

What are your thoughts? What’s the last good horror movie you’ve seen/horror book you’ve read set in modern day? Or do you prefer to kick it old school?

Literary Wars: Fang Face Off

Anne Rice, the queen of literary vamps, recently dissed the Twilight series, saying she’s sorry that teens must be submitted to such drivel.

Sounds like a vamp showdown is about to begin. Because I’ve read both series, I think it’s fair enough for me to judge between them. Let us compare their lead vampires: Edward Cullen and Lestat de Lioncourt.

Edward Cullen, the sparkly pretty boy vampire, lives in Forks, Washington with his dainty, annoying wife Bella. Because he’s a wimpmonster, he prescribes to a “veggie-vampire” diet, which means he doesn’t eat people. Just animals. While PETA might not see the difference, Cullen feels he is a great moral example. This vampire and his vampire (the Cullen Clan) are the creation of Stephanie Meyers, now an international celebrity.

Before the Cullens came Lestat and Louie, vampires from Anne Rice’s the Vampire Chronicles, most famous Interview with the Vampire. Lestat is an immoral megalomaniac who not only has killed humans with abandon but has also drank the blood of the vampire queen and once even switched bodies with a human so he could have normal sex again.

This is from the vamp who claimed, “I’m a ruthless dude.”

Even as a mortal, he killed an entire pack of wolves and survived. Only to be killed later by a vampire. Darn it! Lestat, surely, is the star of Anne Rice’s literary endeavors.

Both vampires are extremely popular, but who is better? Let’s get down to it.

1.) Bad Ass-ery

Edward Cullen cares abotu humans and sparkles in the sun. He plays baseball.

Lestat eats people’s hearts out. While other vampires of his universe fry, he just gets a slight tan in the sun. He even did the nasty with the original vampire, the Vampire Queen Akasha.

Winner: Lestat

2.) Romance

While Lestat is a nostalgic romance, nothing says “I love you” like creeping on a 17-year-old girl while she sleeps. Willing to kill himself for very cague moral reason, Cullen wins this one out. I mean, Twilight IS a love story, after all.

Lestat, however, has entertained many lovers, including the queen of the vampires. He does not, however, become easily attached.

Winner: Cullen

3.) Movie adaptations

Twilight grossed a whole lot of money, with Robert Pattinson portraying Edward. Although I personally prefer the film version of Interview with a Vampire (starring Brad Pitt as Louie and Tom Cruise as Lestat), the Twilight franchise wins simply because the world disagrees with me. Money speaks, so yes, maybe I’m mistaken.

Winner: Cullen

4.) Personality

Edward is a brooding, abstinent guy of a 117.

Lestat is a lover of life, who people refer to as “The Brat Prince.” Seriously? Lestat wins.

Winner: Lestat

5.) Origin Stories

Lestat dies because a mysterious and rebellious vampire named Mangus kidnaps him so he can continue his legacy. Before that, he became famous and feared for killing off an entire pack of wolves to save his village from their terror. After befriending a musician, he moves to London to become an actor. Soon after, he’s turned into a vampire, but that only helps his performance abilities.

Edward Cullen is turned after succumbing like a wimp to the Spanish influenza.

Winner: Lestat

6.) Who would win in a fight?

Edward Cullen has pretty great strength and can even stop a van with his fist that’s going maybe 20 mph. He can also crush marbles, apparently.

Lestat… would walk all over this guy. Not only can he also read minds, but he has consumed the strength of the Vampire Queen. Meaning he’s immortal. Really immortal, as in drive a stake through him, cut off his head… he’s coming back.

Honestly the Cullen boys doesn’t stand a chance. Even Claudia ( the baby vampire played by the young Kirstin Dunst in Interview) could beat him in a fight.

Winner: Lestat

So, is really the better vampire? Does Anne Rice really have room to speak?

VERDICT: LESTAT! AND YES, SHE CAN DEF TAKE DOWN MEYERS


True Blood: Season 4 in Review

Book Snobs Are Snobby

How To Pick Up Women (According to Edward Cullen)